Stress, it rises and falls

My stress level is finally dropping after going through the school's re-accreditation process- and I was only minimally involved.

Everyone here was jumping through hoops, trying to get paperwork together for classes and instructors. The students were prepped on what they could expect. Some of them were going to be surveyed. Instructors were asked to prepare highly interactive class sessions instead of relying on book work or lecturing. The building itself was cleaned.

The tension was palpable in the air. I have been questioning if I am any good at this teaching stuff and wondering whether I was going to be observed and judged bled into my post school life, leaving me cranky and on edge.

And the visit itself was a breeze. The committee was largely focused on paperwork. My class was selected to be surveyed but not observed.

The visit did help me organize my thoughts and plans on my classes though. We're wrapping up the term in the next few weeks and I need to work on editing my materials for the next time I teach these courses, putting things in better, more logical order. Revising the syllabus to reflect the assignments I give them and their weights.

And there's not a lot of time.

See? Stress.

Responsibility 101

You're taking a class and the instructor says, "We're having a test on Monday," and hands out a study guide which she tells you to fill in during class time. She tells the class, this is exactly the material that will be covered on the test.

Someone else asks, "Is it going to be an open book test?"

She says, "Maybe, I haven't decided yet."

Would you study or not? Would you assume that yes, it is going to be an open-book test?

I am the instructor in the equation. I gave my class an EASY test on Microsoft Outlook and Word yesterday. When creating the test, I carefully chose the questions from those the class has already answered in the lab assignments, not re-wording a single one. They grumbled and complained and whined for the whole two hours of the class. I left work feeling so frustrated and fried.

The questions were literally the same multiple choice and fill-in-the-blank questions they'd already done as a lab from the end of the chapters and then there was a more heavily weighted practical section that had tough things to do, like "send me an email."

I am not kidding.

Based on the amount of complaining, I knew the scores wouldn't be good and that I'd have to assign a low point value to the fill in the blank section to avoid most of the class failing. I did. Half a point each for 20 FIB questions.

Two people still failed.

My mood: disappointed and feeling failure-ish myself.

Questioning if I should be here at all

I've been really enjoying my job. Despite some self-doubt, wondering if I'm getting through to my students, I've loved the past couple of month and I've felt like I really found my niche, like I'd found my way onto the path where I am supposed to be. It's corny and cheesy but I can't think of another way to explain it.

Here's the situation, and any advice you can give me would be welcomed:

When I accepted the position, it was with the understanding that I'd get 20 hours per week. I bargained with HR chick to pay me five dollars more per hour than she offered because I needed it to be worthwhile for me to put my kids in daycare. I had to make enough to cover the cost of daycare.

On Thursday, I got an email saying that I could onlyclaim 12 hours per week on my time sheet and there was no budging. I was hired as an adjunct instructor and the school will only pay adjuncts for the time they spend in front of a class. I have 12 hours of class per week right now.

I argued my point with PD, about the time I spend coming up with class materials and grading work. They will only going to pay me for the time in front of students. It's incredibly unfair and I'm apparently the first person to challenge this policy.

I am so upset.

My son is finally getting settled into daycare. He loves it. I see so many changes in him, so much maturation in such a short period of time. What will it do to him to pull him out? I can't afford to keep my kids in daycare only working 12 hours per week.

I need to be working; financially and emotionally.

The tears are flowing. I am flipping out.

Writing Class

Their first writing assignment = pretty bad, but not as bad as I expected. Too much fluff. Too much focus on reaching the word count total and not enough interested or focus on saying something. It's okay, it's just the beginning. I can tell there's good in this bunch.

First Day!!!!

I spent weeks preparing for the first class. I had a great PowerPoint presentation prepared. I rehearsed it. I factored in some time for student interaction, questions and answers, discussion. I was excited. I ran off copies of my materials. I was set.

I got to class. Did attendance. Ran through my PowerPoint, was feeling pretty satisfied with myself and then I looked at the clock. 25 minutes.

I ran through what I thought was 2 hours worth of material in 25 minutes. I had an hour and a half to kill and a room full of students staring at me and and and...

ARRRGGHHHH!

I fell back on an old teaching standard. I showed them a movie. It was related to the topic. I found it in 10 minute chunks on YouTube. It's a made-for-television movie called "Pirates of the Silicon Valley," about Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. I sat in the dark and stressed out-- how had I so seriously misjudged how long the class would take? YIKES!

Down to the Wire

The students have two days of break before the new term starts. Term starts on Monday. I'm excited and nervous and scared and eager and ready and not ready all at once.

I spent yesterday literally cleaning my classroom and today I have to finalize my syllabi and print them off. I need to make sure I have my first/introduction classes ready to roll. I've been moving slowly but steadily for a couple weeks and now the next time I come to work I'll have a class and it seems like there's still more I need to do.

Somebody, please show me how to make this projector thing work?

Faces and Names

I attended the new student orientation on Friday! Squee! I met the people who will comprise my Technical Writing class-- 12 males and 1 female-- students in the technology program. I am happy to report that they look like a good bunch. No one really stood out as a potential problem.

Actually, I was hanging around the room where they all congregated at first to fill out paperwork and listen to administration people talk to them about the school. It was 10:26 and orientation started at 10. A girl was escorted into the room by one of the admissions people. Another teacher from my program leaned over to me and said, "I bet you she's one of ours."

He was right. So, so far, that's my only potential for trouble.

Later, the whole of the winter-start class was broken into majors and sent to classrooms to listen to the individual program directors speak, to get the rules and such for the individual majors. I sat in on that portion too and actually got to meet and interact with some of my students! Squee!

Program Director was really selling my class, telling them that the local employers really want our students to have more "soft skills"- better communication skills, better people skills. They seemed to be excited.

Squee!

Ac-cen-tuate the positive

I am trying to focus on my excitement about starting a career in education and remain focused, positive and dedicated. Did you notice the word "trying" in there? Yeah... it's getting a little difficult and I'm struggling a bit with keeping to myself any criticisms or negative comments about my first few weeks at Tech School.

Here's the big glitch that's making me crazy: there is very little organization to this process.

Day one I came in and had a little chat with Program Director who mentioned some vague information, gave me a textbook and sent me off to an unused classroom to read over the materials sent to him by someone who teaches a similar class at another campus. I started in on reading suggestions on how to write lesson plans, organize material and teach in a way that covers the different ways that people learn.

Over the next few days I read the textbook and quickly discerned that while some chapters will be excellent for achieving the objectives of the class, others seem misplaced in the book. I highlighted and made notes. I wrote down ideas for assignments and discussions. I believed that I was teaching the same class to two different groups of students: a tech group and a medical group.

Yesterday I went into Program Director's office to ask about the medical group-- what will they be learning in their major classes here? I want to be able to tie in my class to their career path as a way of reinforcing the importance of what I'll be teaching them. It was only then that I learned that I'll actually be teaching the medical group computer applications: Windows and Office.

I knew that I could and would at some point be teaching those things but not from the start. So I was given a second text book and set of materials to read. Luckily, this course has been taught at Tech School for a long time so the lesson plans and assignments and all other materials are in place, all I have to do is follow them. Still, it might have been nice to know from the start.

And it's not just that issue that leads me to believe that much of this job is going to be me flying by the seat of my pants! I've been trying to work on my lesson plans since I was told that these are very important and need to be filed with the administration because the school will be undergoing an accreditation renewal in the spring. I wasn't sure how to format them. I didn't like the way my counterpart at the other campus wrote them and I don't think that the way he's structured his class suits me so I was starting from scratch. Well, maybe not 'scratch' but close to scratch. A little past scratch.

Yesterday, right before I left for the day, another teacher came in and asked, "Did Program Director talk to you about meeting with me so I can show you stuff?"

(That is a direct quote!)

In my mind, I was thinking, um, I don't think so, no, maybe, did he? What stuff are you talking about? I tried to be as evasive as I could, drawing her out, trying to figure out what the heck she was talking about. I'm still not technically sure.

Another issue is that she teaches in the afternoon and evening and I'm a day time instructor. So now on Monday, I can't commute as usual, carpooling, I'll have to have a separate car because she flat out refused to come in any earlier and with my child care issues, I can't really stay very late.

If this is about showing me assignment documents and not some actual instruction, I will be very ticked off. Just point me in the direction of the folder on the network and I'd be fine. I've pretty much forged this road alone already.

Today, in cleaning out the storage locker in the classroom I've been using, I found a lesson plan template with the school's logo on it. Hello? Could no one have told me that this exists somewhere?

I feel like there should be some kind of guide for new hires, new teachers, that not only outlines the policies of the school for students and teachers, but also provides these templates and forms. Still, I want to focus on the positives.

I love the freedom of this job already. I love that there isn't someone sitting behind me pulling puppet strings. I love the topics I will get to teach and I'm eager and excited to meet my students and try to make them excited too.

Another Eventful Day

Last night, my younger son's babysitter dumped him so we scrambled to find someone else to watch him until he can join his brother at preschool. I was not a happy camper.

This morning, while dropping him off at the new sitter's house, I misjudged her narrow driveway which slopes downhill and curves a bit at the end. It's also fairly snowy and icy outside. I veered off the asphalt into the mud and backed into her mailbox, knocking it over.

My passenger got out of the car and went to look at the wheel that was now firmly stuck in mud. For some reason, I hit the gas thinking I could get out of the hole. Instead I sent a spray of mud into the air, all over the car and all over the poor, defenseless man standing next to the car trying to help.

Ooops.

The First Day

Starting a new job is always stressful. I accept that. I know it.

My first day at Tech School was also the first day of preschool for my older son and the first day away from the family for my younger son. I wasn't sure how it was going to work out, rousing the boys from their warm and cozy beds before the sun had risen, getting them dressed and ready while I also did the same for myself.

I am happy to report that Operation Leaving Home was a success. Both of the boys were excited to go "to school."

I was able to successfully change from frumpy mom to polished professional with only ten tons of makeup, a curling iron and clothes I haven't worn in five years! I endured the cold, confronted the long commute to Tech School and stepped tentatively through the doors into the vestibule, which was undergoing major renovation.

It was not quite what I had envisioned. In my mind, I'd walk into the reception area and hear fanfare. Students in plaid uniforms would trumpet my arrival. A banner would unfurl with the words "Welcome Newbie Teacher" scrawled across it. Someone would instantly hand me a shiny, red apple and a textbook and off I'd go.

Instead, it was torn up flooring, massive clouds of dust and newly spackled but unsanded walls. It seemed like few people were aware that I was starting. My new boss, Program Director, took me on a tour of the school and gave me the textbook I'd be using and a pile of papers. I had to do all the "new job paperwork" including all those government documents that I'm sure I screw up every time I have to fill them out.

Add a 1 on the line if you work less than 25 hours a week or you have a spouse with thinning hair unless he or she is also albino and works in a lab. In that case subtract 432.5 from 912, add 15 or the number of children you have who aren't potty trained, divide by 12, subtract 97 and add the number of times a month you grocery shop, then enter that number on line H and box 42b of form 912-A.

Huh?

Program Director gave me the class syllabus from the other campus, listing my course goals and objectives. He gave me some sample assignments and these things called "rubrics" to help me determine how to grade my students' work. He told me I had to observe the other teachers to get a handle on classroom management

I started reading and highlighting the textbook. I read through the materials he emailed me and started making notes on possible assignments and lesson plans. I had a great first day.

Well, until we went to pick up my younger son.

The Wait is Over!

HR Chick called me this morning to offer me the teaching position I've been holding my breath over. Still no concrete details about classes, hours, benefits or anything else really.

I'm lucky that I have an "in" with the school because the amount of pay she offered was lower than the amount they were paying another adjunct instructor who is a friend of mine. I had to negotiate my way up to the same starting salary they my buddy. Had HR Chick not been willing to do that, I couldn't have accepted the position because I would have been working to pay for daycare and that's just silly.

I start Monday.

So now I am running around like a crazy person trying to nail down reasonably priced daycare in a non-icky facility. The place I really like cannot my younger son for a month. There's another, sort of local but pretty far out of the way daycare that we visited that I liked, for the most part. The large room where all the kids were held was broken up into smaller areas with sections of picket fencing, giving me the uncomfortable feeling that the children were treated like so many sheep.

So the dilemma is this: weird sheep pen day care if we can't find a sitter for the younger child for a month.

I'm a teacher, I'm a teacher.

Holy crap! What am I getting myself into?