Stress, it rises and falls

My stress level is finally dropping after going through the school's re-accreditation process- and I was only minimally involved.

Everyone here was jumping through hoops, trying to get paperwork together for classes and instructors. The students were prepped on what they could expect. Some of them were going to be surveyed. Instructors were asked to prepare highly interactive class sessions instead of relying on book work or lecturing. The building itself was cleaned.

The tension was palpable in the air. I have been questioning if I am any good at this teaching stuff and wondering whether I was going to be observed and judged bled into my post school life, leaving me cranky and on edge.

And the visit itself was a breeze. The committee was largely focused on paperwork. My class was selected to be surveyed but not observed.

The visit did help me organize my thoughts and plans on my classes though. We're wrapping up the term in the next few weeks and I need to work on editing my materials for the next time I teach these courses, putting things in better, more logical order. Revising the syllabus to reflect the assignments I give them and their weights.

And there's not a lot of time.

See? Stress.

Responsibility 101

You're taking a class and the instructor says, "We're having a test on Monday," and hands out a study guide which she tells you to fill in during class time. She tells the class, this is exactly the material that will be covered on the test.

Someone else asks, "Is it going to be an open book test?"

She says, "Maybe, I haven't decided yet."

Would you study or not? Would you assume that yes, it is going to be an open-book test?

I am the instructor in the equation. I gave my class an EASY test on Microsoft Outlook and Word yesterday. When creating the test, I carefully chose the questions from those the class has already answered in the lab assignments, not re-wording a single one. They grumbled and complained and whined for the whole two hours of the class. I left work feeling so frustrated and fried.

The questions were literally the same multiple choice and fill-in-the-blank questions they'd already done as a lab from the end of the chapters and then there was a more heavily weighted practical section that had tough things to do, like "send me an email."

I am not kidding.

Based on the amount of complaining, I knew the scores wouldn't be good and that I'd have to assign a low point value to the fill in the blank section to avoid most of the class failing. I did. Half a point each for 20 FIB questions.

Two people still failed.

My mood: disappointed and feeling failure-ish myself.

Questioning if I should be here at all

I've been really enjoying my job. Despite some self-doubt, wondering if I'm getting through to my students, I've loved the past couple of month and I've felt like I really found my niche, like I'd found my way onto the path where I am supposed to be. It's corny and cheesy but I can't think of another way to explain it.

Here's the situation, and any advice you can give me would be welcomed:

When I accepted the position, it was with the understanding that I'd get 20 hours per week. I bargained with HR chick to pay me five dollars more per hour than she offered because I needed it to be worthwhile for me to put my kids in daycare. I had to make enough to cover the cost of daycare.

On Thursday, I got an email saying that I could onlyclaim 12 hours per week on my time sheet and there was no budging. I was hired as an adjunct instructor and the school will only pay adjuncts for the time they spend in front of a class. I have 12 hours of class per week right now.

I argued my point with PD, about the time I spend coming up with class materials and grading work. They will only going to pay me for the time in front of students. It's incredibly unfair and I'm apparently the first person to challenge this policy.

I am so upset.

My son is finally getting settled into daycare. He loves it. I see so many changes in him, so much maturation in such a short period of time. What will it do to him to pull him out? I can't afford to keep my kids in daycare only working 12 hours per week.

I need to be working; financially and emotionally.

The tears are flowing. I am flipping out.

Writing Class

Their first writing assignment = pretty bad, but not as bad as I expected. Too much fluff. Too much focus on reaching the word count total and not enough interested or focus on saying something. It's okay, it's just the beginning. I can tell there's good in this bunch.

First Day!!!!

I spent weeks preparing for the first class. I had a great PowerPoint presentation prepared. I rehearsed it. I factored in some time for student interaction, questions and answers, discussion. I was excited. I ran off copies of my materials. I was set.

I got to class. Did attendance. Ran through my PowerPoint, was feeling pretty satisfied with myself and then I looked at the clock. 25 minutes.

I ran through what I thought was 2 hours worth of material in 25 minutes. I had an hour and a half to kill and a room full of students staring at me and and and...

ARRRGGHHHH!

I fell back on an old teaching standard. I showed them a movie. It was related to the topic. I found it in 10 minute chunks on YouTube. It's a made-for-television movie called "Pirates of the Silicon Valley," about Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. I sat in the dark and stressed out-- how had I so seriously misjudged how long the class would take? YIKES!